"We did agree to no OW/OM around our kids for a period of time (6 months to a year -- yet to be ironed out), so I don't think that will be an issue."
Don't count on it and probably not legally enforceable, and you probably should not try to make it legally enforceable either. (Just more of the same from you w.r.t. your focus on her Rs with OM,)
OT,
Why do you keep saying this?? I was merely responding to what YOU said about OM -- I didn't bring it up, you did. I was pointing out that we agreed not to do this, and I do think she'll abide by it, even if it's for all the wrong reasons. Remember, to a narcissist, IMAGE is EVERYTHING.
And, last time, my L did tell me that this was not legally enforceable, but "worth a shot" to put it in there.
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BTW, my understanding is that child support also is used to pay rent/mortgage.
Really? I need to learn more about this. Florida has an online CS calculator that you can use, to plug in each spouse's income, and other details, and then it gives you the amount. But I'm unclear as to what I can all COUNT towards that amount. For example, how do I factor in what I currently pay in support of the non-minor GIRLS (books, auto insurance, cellphone, food)? We have an agreement with them that as long as they stay in college, as full-time students, we help with these expenses. Well, the CS calculations only speak to the two MINOR children still living in the house, but I'm paying 100% of this stuff to our daughters.
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I don't see why you would be continuing to pay the same proportion of joint debts and expenses if you get your own household. For that matter, there really should not be any joint debt or expenses. The only thing that should be your business in her finances is how much you have to write the checks for, and same with her.
You lost me here. They are JOINT expenses and debts (let's use jointly-acquired credit card debt for an example). We incurred them jointly, as a married couple. If they're not paid off at the time of divorce (and they won't be), they become JOINT responsibility, do they not? So the only question is, in what PROPORTION? 50/50 wouldn't be fair if I make $200k a year and she makes $10k, or even if we impute $20k or $25k to her. I AM going to have a stip that any tax refunds or proceeds from the eventual sale of the house go 100% to paying down these old joint debts.
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Right now, you sound like you are both trying again to make her "get it" and to protect her, neither of which is good in terms of your interests at this point. Trust me, she will look out for herself. What you need to do is to protect yourself, get the best deal you can, and get out.
I'm sure I am. She has NO CLUE about this stuff, and if I don't help explain it to her, and keep her comfortable with the process, then she's going to want to hire her own atty and GUESS WHO gets to pay for that? Her last retainer was $3,500, and since we ended up reconciling, I made her pay that back 100% (she borrowed it from her OM ), but my atty advised me that it was near-100% certainty that I would end up paying her legal fees as part of any settlement. The atty she retained last time is a bulldog, a former prosecuting atty who specializes in dealing with women. She's very well-connected. It's in my own self-interest to make sure she is NOT retained.