We got together to work on bills last night and ended up discussing a lot of things that happened in the last week or three. We'd agreed at the start to stay friends, be adults, and work thru things. Over the past few weeks things got tense and we let a lot of outside negativity come in (just look at my past posts and you'll see it). Neither of us want to hurt each other. Despite the fact she's leaving, we need to stay friends, work together on our common goals and for our children. It was a very good talk.
GAL will help me much and I think it seems to be one of the primary reasons behind this. She feels that something in the relationship makes life hard on me and she really wants me to thrive. I'm 'stuck' in a few areas (career, life goals) but I'm working on it.
She's went out of town for a most of a week. She asked me to drive her to the airport. I told her for the duration of this trip, let's just try to put all this stuff out of our thoughts for a while and give each other a needed break. Agreed. I put on a good face and we both left happy.
Overall, I'm sad today, but at a greater level of comfort. A lot of the negativity is gone. I'm not sad because she was going to be gone for a few days but because I need to let go, work on myself, and one day hope she sees me as a better man and comes back. I'm sad because we both fell for all this negativity and hurt each other. We got a little of the repair done last night.
She looked so pretty this morning. We had a nice hug goodbye (first hug in weeks - we've both been holding back). I miss her friendship, her companionship. A lot of hard things are going to happen over the next week, months, (years?). I just have to maintain that friendship and keep the faith in myself.
Someone has a signature on this board, "Forgiveness is the way out of hell." So true.
"My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand." Thich Nhat Hanh
