Letting the shoreline go

[optimist]

I am plagiarizing from T2' threads, but her goals and prior problems struck me so much that I thought you might want to look at them.

Things NOT to do:

At Tal's suggestion, this is a list of T2's sins of the past reconciliation/cohabitation attempt:

1- I was pathetically clingy
2- I didn't get through a single day without bringing up the A in one form or another
3- I snooped (checked his cell daily for in and out calls and kept a written record of them
4- I paniced every time he was five minutes late.
5- I challenged every excuse/reason he gave for just about everything
6- I brought our lack of intimacy up so often I think he couldn't have gotten "in the mood," if I was a perfect 10.
7- I stayed moody and sullen to much of the time

UGH no wonder it didn't work....reading all that, I , just had the urge to leave me

And things TO DO:

Geesh....okay, here's my ACTION list:

1- TAKE A DEEP BREATH BEFORE letting what's in my mind come flowing out my mouth.

2- But TIME between my fear and my reactions to it.

3- WATCH....don't just listen LOOK for the positives don't twist them into negatives

4- WRITE DOWN THE POSITIVES...they're to easily and convienently, forgotten by me

5- KEEP DOING WHAT WORKED

6- Be loving even when HE'S drawing away

7- HOLD his hand instead of ALWAYS waiting for him to reach
for mine.

8- Remember to acknowledge HIS "acts of service" (don't
slip back into the taking him and what he does for
granted mode)

9- STOP remind him of the A...stick to the NOW and ONLY
refer to the past with regard to where WE went wrong.
The As DIDN'T destroy our marriage, we did that
together long before the As happened. THEY were a
symptom NOT the cause.

10- Look as good as possible always be attractive

11- Let him know I love him

I mean, if someone else told it much better than I could, why not listen?

Good luck! And best wishes!