"We did agree to no OW/OM around our kids for a period of time (6 months to a year -- yet to be ironed out), so I don't think that will be an issue."
Don't count on it and probably not legally enforceable, and you probably should not try to make it legally enforceable either. (Just more of the same from you w.r.t. your focus on her Rs with OM,)
BTW, my understanding is that child support also is used to pay rent/mortgage.
I don't see why you would be continuing to pay the same proportion of joint debts and expenses if you get your own household. For that matter, there really should not be any joint debt or expenses. The only thing that should be your business in her finances is how much you have to write the checks for, and same with her. And, try to make the required amounts as minimal as possible. You can always choose to be more generous. But trying to do less than is legally required will get you in trouble.
As for "too nice," who cares. You were civil, that's fine. What I would say is "way too much information." You are showing your hand, showing her what to worry about, getting her guard up, putting yourself at a disadvantage. Talk D with the mediator and your L. Keep it business, address it in the appropriate setting.
Right now, you sound like you are both trying again to make her "get it" and to protect her, neither of which is good in terms of your interests at this point. Trust me, she will look out for herself. What you need to do is to protect yourself, get the best deal you can, and get out.
