(1) "Then I will figure out what comes next. Not being so desperate to get him back for the sake of getting him back gives me a better perspective! Right now, I need to get to know this guy. And both of us need to believe that I like him. Yep, I see the importance of this. FOR BOTH OF US."
This is part of why detachment allows for much deeper and more authentic intimacy.
(2) "I honestly fear something really bad happening, so I probably won't relax for quite a while."
How about this... Accept that you are making choices for your own reasons that come with some significant risks. Your choice to embrace those risks. Should an outcome other than what you desired occur, it was your choice to put yourself in that position. Such an outcome would not be something that just "happens," like a hurricane. If the potential costs are too great, then get out of the game now. If they are acceptable, then accept them and let go of the fear, you've already decided a poor outcome is acceptable.
