WAW1

[markhaving probs]

Hi Innishannon,

I am sorry you are here, but has been said many times and I can confirm this, I have been here since January and without this support I would be in a much worse place than I am now. You will gain lots of good advice from people who have been there and come out the other side. I do advise getting yourself a copy of Divorce Remedy as it has really helped me.

My wife announced I love you, not in love with you anymore a week before Xmas. I was devastated, still am to a degree but I am taking things one day at a time. She did not want counselling, no reconcilliation, became distant, no physical contact, lost weight, bought new clothes etc. She wants out as quickly as possible, and I, like you have made lots of mistakes that has made our relationship worse. It is as though she has turned a switch off and has completely erased me from her life, we are now seperated as off Easter weekend, but the tension that was at home has obviously been lifted since I left and helps my daughter 11 and son 7. I am getting a life (GAL), divorcing remedying (DR'ing) and doing the best I can for my children. I have tried to find out if there is OM or she is involved in an emotional/physical relationship for the past 4 months, but I have not found any proof. I have pretty much stopped this as it is counter-productive and has only driven my wife further away.

I am attempting to lovingly detach from my wife and only consult her over children or finances, going dim I guess rather than dark. I originally thought detaching was to make your WAS come to terms with their decision and maybe realise what they have done, I now realise it more to come to terms with the situation and try to re-build you own life and make it better for your children. I want more than anything to rebuild our relationship, but I do not know the answer as yet, and the longer I hold on the more painful it gets. antlers gave me good advice on this one.

Mark