You'll never see me fall from grace

[fightingirish]

Your in a good position right now...

I'd like a cup of tea and some hostess cupcakes

[Sugar and Spice]

Well its been an up and down couple of weeks. We have a MC appointment on 4/30, but this is going to be one long uphill battle.

I'm not sure my H is made of tough enough stuff to do what its going to take to fix whats gone so wrong. I'm not sure he is really ready for this, hell, I'm not sure I am either.

I'm beginning to understand ambivelence and how terrible it truly is.

Not sure what is going to happen, but I have on last shot in me then I'm done and movin' on.

[whatdidido]

Yep, this is going to be the hardest thing you have ever done. Keep posting here, and we will support you. Just remember, if he works at this as hard as you have, you could have a relationship that most will never have. When you go through something as horrible and awful as what you have, it allows you to move to another level. Most people never get to it because they don't address the issues to begin with ("We're really great, we never fight, and we are happy.") or they DO address the issues, or something bad happens, and one of the spouses give up. It really does take two. Most of the stories in DB are where the other spouse has given up. YOu can do everything right (even do the Love Dare where it IS all you), but if the other spouse doesn't ever do ANYTHING, nothing can happen. I pray that your husband continues forward in repairing your marriage.

[kat727]

If everything in life worth having was easy to obtain, it's value would surely diminish. You know what your overall goal is but certainly can become overwhelmed with the size of the issues. Break it down. Manage as best as you can and know that you will be coming down the other side of this mountain a heck of a lot stronger and smarter. I'll be keeping an eye out for you!

kat

[MichelleLT]

((((((S^2)))))))

It'll be hard, but you know we're all here for you.

While the best things in life may be free (meaning family, friends, love, happiness) there is often a lot of work involved. But because they can be so good, they are worth it.

I am proud of you and your H for giving MC a try. I hope that despite the difficult topics ahead, you both find peace.

[Sugar and Spice]

Thanks guys. Its just going to be tough (still...thought I'd be used to it by now) for a while longer. I'm encouraged by his wanting to go, however the last time we went it was all BS and unless he is willing to do some changing its still all BS and a waste of time and money.

I'm feeling pretty jaded these days. I appreciate the support.

[Sugar and Spice]

Ok, I need some advice here.

My MIL has a rental house that up until a few days ago was occupied by my SIL and her tribe. Once he heard that the house would be vacant, H asked MIL what she planned on doing with it. She has always had this house (its where my H and his sister grew up) and she keeps it so my SIL always has a place to land (enabler). Anyway her first response was, "I don't know." So apparently H asked if she would rent it to The Troll. Heres where I need the advice. She never said anything in return, however last week she started telling H about the house and how it has new windows, etc... and said she would rent it to them for X amount a month...she then says, "You're moving in right?"

So the advice I need is how or what do I say to this woman, who claims to be my mother, who has seen what this has done to me and my kids and still consciously CHOOSES to encourage and facilitate a "love nest" for my H and the woman who helped wreck my family?

Sorry just doesn't seem like its going to cover this one. I am mad but more importantly I am hurt and betrayed. I just really don't know what to do or say, but I don't feel like I can let it go without saying SOMETHING.

[GoingForward]

... and said she would rent it to them for X amount a month...she then says, "You're moving in right?"

"Them"??? "You're" as in your H???

I may not be in the best shape to give advice (I'm battling the flu), but I definitely think you should voice your feelings. To MIL, I don't know. To your H, probably. I thought it was over between H and the Troll(??), and that you two were reconciling...and I can totally understand being there for the baby, but for her, too??? I really don't know about that one.

If this is a deal breaker, if this is a threat to reconciling your M, then I think you definitely need to sit down with H and have a talk.

Hang in there.

(((((Corey)))))

[lost_in_space]

((((S&S))))

My 2 cents - let it be known. To your H - definitely. I would even go as far as MIL. This is your k's grandmother displaying what I consider absolutely deplorable judgement. Protect you and k's from as much of this cr@p as you can.

IMHO...

[bluerain]

Wow, well, part of me understands-ish because of the baby. Hmm, but he has babies with you too, so I think that you certainly have that in your corner too. I absolutely understand, however, that this is something that you have a problem with. I agree with the goingforward, if this is a deal breaker, the sooner you speak up, the better. Even if its just, "Wow, the thought of that makes me really uncomfortable." That might be a nonthreatening way to start the conversation, or maybe you need to bring this up in MC.