PM Thread #5 - Hope new plan works

[Can it work]

Hi PM

You asked me on my thread to come and post a comment so here I am. I never realised you'd started up a new thread. Been so busy lately I can't decide if I'm coming or going. I'm not sure how much my male point of view will help but I'll give it a shot.

For what it's worth, I think you did the right thing confronting him like that. As you were obviously aware, he was living his new life without having to face any consequences of his decisions. You were right to not allow him to continue like that.

Now for the possible down side. Since I read your thread I've been putting myself in your H's place to see how I'd feel. That's maybe not the fairest thing to do since obviously our sitch's are completely different. The bottom line though is that you may have backed him in to a corner and he may well resent you for that. Don't get me wrong, it had to happen. I know from my POV though that if my W decided to move away with Wee Man I'd definitely be very angry about it. The difference here is that with her whole family living here, it's very unlikely she would do that. If I was with someone else now enjoying a great physical relationship and getting all the love I needed and my W basically asked me to move home or lose my son, it would be a no brainer. No woman could ever possibly match the feelings I have for him and I'd like to think I'd instantly choose my son over OW. I'm a very determined person and I would try everything to make it work with my W. What it boils down to at the end of the day is what type of man is your H?

There is of course another possibility. He very well may be too deep with OW to get out right now and it will end up that you have to leave to be with your family. You've also said though that he is looking for a change of job. If you do end up leaving, the reality of losing his kids is very likely going to hit home in a big way then. He may very well follow you. It doesn't sound like he's as tied to his current job as he used to be. I know that's a very small straw to be clutching at but when you're settled in your new home with the loving support of your family around you, there will be no harm in waiting to see how things pan out in the long term.

You're very brave for what you've done and I admire you immensely for it. I realise that taking risks doesn't come naturally to you but you've done the right thing. Just look at all the support you've had on this thread to confirm that. You've possibly been doing what hasn't been working for some time now. It was time to leave the comfort zone and try something new. That's exactly what you've done and you should never feel ashamed of that. Even if it doesn't work out, this is something you needed to do for you.

I wish you all the luck in the world. (((((PM)))))

Keep smiling.

Kev