WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 7

[confusedinpa]

Nothing too eventful tonite. Her back was really bothering her so she asked me to massage it. I did but it was really pretty badly knotted so I don't think it eased much.

We wound up watching some baseball when I told her I needed to finish our taxes. We owed just under 5 figures. I told her and she was shocked. I asked her how she wanted to handle it. She said she would give me a check for her share if I paid it. That was fine with me

In the past, when she was low on cash, I would have offered to just cover these large bills. I didn't this time since she's leaving me. I know she is really stressing.

She said she was going to try and finish moving on Sat. I told her I was going to take the boys shopping for replacement furniture for the playroom that she's taking. She said that sounded like a good idea

I feel odd tonite. I know I'm going to miss her but its not that sad to me tonite. Maybe I'm fooling myself. I do want her to stay but I guess I'm tired of feeling powerless as I know I can't control her to do that. I think I'm back to feeling at peace that I'm doing everything I can to work on me and change to be the best man, father, husband/friend I can be

One thing I'm struggling a little with is on Monday we're suppose to go to the "Children of Divorce" seminar. We're suppose to drive down together. It just seems odd as she's moving out this weekend. Any thoughts on how to handle this?