Hi Rob, It's been nice to be home with S11. We still had stuff to put in order around the apartment - so we did much of that today - which seemed to make him very happy.
On the STBX front, had another gem from her today - an email telling me that she claimed our S2 on her taxes - though we had agreed that I would claim him on mine...I work as a freelancer, don't have taxes taken out often - and make about 2x as much as she does...so deductions are important for me...as she knows...but instead I get an email from her claiming that she took the child credit on the advice of her accountant...the same accountant who seemed to ignore the fact that married filing separately will cost us both more...Sometimes I feel like I am divorcing a teenager - I don't say that to be insulting or belittling - I just feel like she behaves like a teenager - with the same sense of entitlement and the same complaints about an unfair world.
In response to her violation of trust, I wrote her a note saying just that - that I took her action as a violation of an agreement between us, and then urged her to look into what she had to for herself so that we could move forward with our divorce - she has been in the stalling phase for quite a while now - and I was holding off until she stopped coming at me with threats of calling the police - since it seemed like any action on my part would have made her even more volatile. I think I was also using that reasoning as an excuse to hold out just a little longer - to see if anything could change in her - if she could decide to work on herself and improve herself - rather than continue to blame all that is wrong in her life on me...nope...but enough of that...the tranquility of being in my own place is unmistakable - so, too, is the calm my S11 tells me he feels.
My S11 was looking at pictures today of a trip we took to Mexico when B was pregnant. We had an incredible time - and it was one of the best vacations of my life. When I looked at the pictures, I remembered the fun I had with both my S11 and B, but I did not feel the kind of sadness I expected to hit me...It felt like I was looking at any photographs of my past - and just other moments that I can cherish but that I don't need to yearn to repeat. Someday I'll take both of my boys snorkeling with me - and we'll have amazing photos to look back on from that trip as well...oh...one thing that did come to mind while looking at these photos - was something B said when still finding more reasons to justify her leaving - she said that I made that trip all about my son, and that I didn't care at all about her while we were there...amazing...given that when we were there, and when we flew back, I remember how she held my hand and said it was the best trip of her life...Oh well, memory seems to have its own seasons, so that while the landscape it traverses might be the same, one never knows if memory will come in the guise of a tempest or a gentle sun.
Time to dish out some ice cream for S11...his broken finger is giving him a fit.
