The adventure continues--part 2

[AFWAW]

I won't know anything until the middle of May. Until then, it's like she's conflicted. One day no contact, the next hugs, kisses and phone calls. It's almost like I'm being reeled in and then she gives me line. I honestly wish she would not have said anything about leaning towards coming home as it's about all I can think about. Woke up at 330 am again this morning. At least I have my health!

[PortlandDad]

The roller-coaster sucks big time. The bi-polar vibes are the hardest for me to deal with too.

[AFWAW]

The bi-polar vibes are the hardest for me to deal with too.

Is that what that is? I guess I should do some research to see how to deal with it more effectively than I am.

[AFWAW]

no contact so far today. As much as I want to call her, I will not. Wow, somebody called it perfectly on here. They said she would pull back after a couple of positives and they were right. It's like she got the taste she needed and is back to the standard WAW mode. She sucked me in pretty good this time but I don't think I'm as emotionally drained as I was last time so I must be getting used to it if there is such a thing. It's hard to not give in though when she is nice. I guess I'll tire of it eventually. We'll see.

[AFWAW]

Ok, just got a call from the wife. She didn't ask to talk with my daughter. We talked about her working out, her work day and my work day. Then we talked about my daughter. The wife got a call from her choir teacher who is fearful that my daughter will not get to go on her trip. My wife said she explained what was going on as the choir teacher did not know. So, I asked the wife what she was thinking. She said you mean about me coming home and our conversation the other day. I said, yes. She said I cannot make up my mind. One day I think I should and the next day I don't want to. WTF??? Does she not see how she's affecting my daughter? She asked if I was sleeping any better. I said, nope I wake up at 3 almost everyday. She said I do too. Ok--I thought to myself so it's affecting you and me also.

So here's my question---Why is she so conflicted? I CAN TELL THAT SHE WANTS TO COME HOME!!!! What is holding her back? Is it pride? Is it that she's already committed to running away with the apartment and telling people? She has already said she still loves me. She has enjoyed being in my company and admits it. She says she misses me. She says she misses my daughter yet she didn't ask to speak with her tonight.

She is working nights tomorrow and agreed to go to lunch with me tomorrow-my rain check from today.

So, I didn't call her and I won't as I have promised myself. I guess I'll just have to show her that she would be a fool to leave me and her daughter. Doesn't she know that her daughter needs her?

I am so frustrated at this point. I really wish I could get through to her. Ugh, anyone have any suggestions??? Thoughts???

I'm starting to feel desperate again...

[Puppy Dog Tails]

So, I asked the wife what she was thinking. She said you mean about me coming home and our conversation the other day. I said, yes.

AF,

DON'T DO THIS!!! It's R talk, it's pursuing, and it only pushes her further away. You need to convey a sense of "I'd love for you to come home, but hey -- I'm great either way, thanks!"

Puppy

[AFWAW]

Puppy,
I know, you are right. I am just very frustrated for me and my daughter at this point and I know she is on the verge of making a decision. You are right, I won't do that again unless she asks or initiates.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Try to think of it as opening up the oven door, and peeking at the rising souffle.

Puppy

[PortlandDad]

AF:
Not to rain on your parade (or your sense of an imminent decision on your Ws part) but I've been in this mode for two months now. I've felt sure that she would come around "any day now".

Nope.

She's still conflicted and on the fence, even in the face of overwhelming financial and medical problems.

You need to set your sights on the long haul. Whenever you or I get a taste of something that feels like it is going our way, we start getting optimistic and our view shortens. This is going to take a long time! The sooner you acknowledge it and plan for it, the better off you and your D will be.

[AFWAW]

Yeah, I hear you. The whole thing just sucks. I have my lunch "date" today. I wonder why she keeps waffling back and forth. She sent me an email from work where she wants my daughter to call her? Once again, I will mention it to my daughter but I will not force her to call. My wife needs to understand the consequences of her decision and understand the impact that it is and will have on all our lives. I wish I knew what she was looking for. I guess I should be thankful that she's not and has not said divorce in about 3 weeks now. That's good right?