Oh K, you are so early into this. It is perfectly understandable that you have all these emotions. I am 21 months into this and I still have great big moments of anger and sadness. Its ok.
The road you take on this journey is always your choice. No one knows what the future holds. Everyone's journey is different. But I will promise you this - you will grow and learn more about yourself than you ever thought possible. While this is absolutely not the road any of us thought we would have to take, you will come out of this stronger than you ever thought possible.
Try not to look at anyone's timeline. Try not to look at the long haul. Take it one day at a time, one moment at a time if you have to.
The way to lessen the intensity of the feelings really is to detach as much as you can. Everyone gets there in their own time. But start with little things, like not looking around in his office. I know its hard, but it really is for the best.
Try each day not to give your h all of your headspace. Concentrate on your girls and what things you might want to try that you havent. Just go for it. Take a class, go out with a girlfriend. It really is important for your girls and your h to see you GAL and it is most important for you.
If you look back at Yellowrose and BND and others who have db'd sucessfully, you will find that it wasnt until they let go completely that their h's moved toward them. Once they started living life without worrying about their h's, their h's started towards home.
So, have a cry and then get to gettin'. You could do this. We are here for you.
