Renee, Don't you think you need some time to heal a bit? I would think that you would like to have some time to find out who you are before getting involved w/someone else. Rebound relationships do not always work out and sometimes you'll get hurt even worse.
It's nice that a guy wants to call you, but please be very careful that you don't get yourself in a situation whereby you become dependant upon him for your existence and self esteem. Learn to live on your own and become happy with the person you are before getting involved w/someone else. Okay?
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Yes I do need to heal. I dont want a relationship right now. I do want to go out to dinner every now and then. I think. Geez Snodderly I dont know what I want. I want this to be all a dream, I want to wake up and everything be back to normal, but that aint gonna happen.
I want to be loved and held. I am finding alot out about me. One of the two times I spoke with my xh I told him that I was learning so much about myself and that I contributed to our marriage problems and he said it wasnt all my fault. I tried to be nice and said to him, "be sure this is what you want to do", he said "Dont try to counsel me". Why couldnt he just be nice and say ok or I am. Why does he take everything I say wrong?
You could be speaking in a soft voice while setting butterflies free on a warm spring day and a MLCer is still going to take offense to it.
In a not so nice nutshell, you need to mind your business and leave your ex alone for the entirety of your foreseeable future. I know things happened fast for you and it is hard to comprehend but he's not your business anymore. Your opinions are irrelevant and so is the fact his actions have offended and hurt you. By throwing that in his face, you are virtually ensuring that he will never regret leaving.
Renee, I understand your hurt and I believe you anger is righteous but you need to pray for the grace to keep your mouth shut.
You won't see it that way...so you're going to argue the point, and it doesn't matter if he saw it that way. That is how he saw it, doesn't matter what you meant. You don't have to convince us, and you sure as heck won't convince him of it.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
You could be speaking in a soft voice while setting butterflies free on a warm spring day and a MLCer is still going to take offense to it.
was very funny. Thank you for a good laugh, Amy.
It is also so very true, SL. So, please don't do what I do--- which is to explain, re-explain, and then explain my re-explanation yet again... That tends to drive anyone nuts, not just an MLCer.
I see you going that way, though. Just stay dark, and quit "what-if"ing yourself to death. You cannot prepare yourself for everything that is going to come your way. You are better off staying dark, and IF he does contact you eventually, come here and ask the specific question you need an answer to. Right now your speculation is going to drive you mad.
Not getting on you, mind you. I've done the same. I want to spare you the nothing good that comes from thinking and behaving the way you are.
You won't see it that way...so you're going to argue the point, and it doesn't matter if he saw it that way. That is how he saw it, doesn't matter what you meant. You don't have to convince us, and you sure as heck won't convince him of it.
Actually Jack awhile back I would have argued this in defense, but I am starting to see they dont see things the way we do. Took me long enough didnt it.
You could be speaking in a soft voice while setting butterflies free on a warm spring day and a MLCer is still going to take offense to it.
In a not so nice nutshell, you need to mind your business and leave your ex alone for the entirety of your foreseeable future. I know things happened fast for you and it is hard to comprehend but he's not your business anymore. Your opinions are irrelevant and so is the fact his actions have offended and hurt you. By throwing that in his face, you are virtually ensuring that he will never regret leaving.
Renee, I understand your hurt and I believe you anger is righteous but you need to pray for the grace to keep your mouth shut.
I know I have said things in the past that reinforces his behavior and reason for leaving. I also know that statement I made may have also ensured him, but in all honestly is it too late to try and correct what has happened and what I have said. I mean regardless, is he ever going to think differently of me? I guess what I am trying to say is....is it too late to keep my mouth shut for any future we possibly could have? OR have I instilled too much in his already messed up mind?
CMNM where can I read about your sitch? Are you d? I know what you mean abour re-explaining. I use to do this ALOT. Finally I learned that nothing I could say would be right. I promise I could say HI HOW ARE YOU TODAY and he would go off thinking I was getting in his business.lol I never dreamed this stuff could happen to a person. They are really messed up. Sometimes I wonder if my xh is in MLC, but then the things he says and does makes me believe that he is. Whether he is or not though I am learning slowly to go on with my life.
