I just have to chime in here...I'm so sorry but I just can't see the point of bashing Mrs. Puppy. I mean, yes I don't agree with what she is walking away from...but can't we all just be kind to the extent that we can realize that she may be suffering from some kind of mental illness? If she does have a Narcissistic personality disorder, this is not just some puffed up way of saying she is conceded. It is a very dangerous and real disorder, and I feel bad for Puppy, his kids, AND for Mrs. Puppy. No one wishes for themselves to be mentally unstable. No one wishes for themselves to be put in this position.
When I got separated, I did think that my ex-h and I could somehow be friends and work through the family issues with the kids, holidays, etc. It did not in ANY WAY seem to me to be a "crazy" notion that he and I would not be able to do this. We had, in fact, a blended family already, and I had coached and counseled him through all the b.s. with his insane ex-wife we had to go through, and custody issues with my step-daugther, and then horrible insane sad things with the step-daugther, and all fo this while trying to be a normal, happy family. I had been the one who had a blended family while growing up, my ex-h had not. So I was apparently the expert on how to get along in the divorced environment. My own parents had been married and divorce from each other twice, then both went on to marry other people and each divorced those new people. So my life has been literally filled with divorce and I had a child-of-divorce perspective on ALL of it, every step of the way.
Therefore when I was married and we had our own blended family, complete with insane ex-wife, I was the compass or guidance they all needed to really try to get things going along as well as possible.
However....once I left my marriage (regardless of the fact that I was trying to get him to work it out with me still), he left the family/father relationship. He stayed in the house with my son (step-daughter was already in college) but he literally abandoned him emotionally and physically, which left it up to me to do double time while not even living there.
So why am I telling you all of this?
Because there are always two sides, and two hurting people, plus however many children are involved. And all people involved deserve love and kindness for what they are going through. Had my ex-h come here and found this board during our separation, I know "his" story would have made me seem like a cold and heartless WAW. From his perspective, that was true. From my perspective, I was reeling from the new information that he had literally abandoned our son. At that time, if anyone had suggested that I had "run out on my responsibilities as a parent" I would have spit in their face. People really have no clue what has "really" happened in a marriage.
Anyway, we all support Puppy here and Mrs. Puppy is not here...but seriously, no matter how badly Mrs. Puppy might be messing up her life, she is still Mr. Puppy's children's mother, and always will be. She may have fantasitcal notions about "family" time in the future...but guess what? When I was a child, I wished for nothing more than for my divorced parents to be nice to each other in my presence. And I feared nothing less than being grown up and finally having a wedding and having it be ruined by my parents because they STILL could not be grown up enough to be in the same room together....which DID actually come to pass, too.
I know we're all hurting for our own reasons....but Mrs. Puppy isn't a demon out to hurt Puppy. She is just the wrong wife for him, and that is all. Everything else she has ever done and contributed to the marriage, the family, and the children, isn't wiped out just because she wants to leave the marriage.
Sorry for the rant...I just think more compassion is needed sometimes...
