When the Teacher Becomes the Student

[hope3343]

Puppy, sorry that your situation has come to this BUT no one has tried harder than you. You are one of the most sane people that post here and very well respected. My prayers go out to you.

In reading your post, I want to offer my $.02.

I agree with your assessment of your wife having some type of personality disorder. To go through all of this and knowing the problems and still she is cold...there are issues that you cannot solve and she does not want to solve.

First, I think you wife in in an A. Locked cellphone? If not a physical then an emotional. She would not lock a phone to talk to attorneys. Something stinks in China as they say. Can you get access to her phone so you can go online and register it to track the phone calls? Then you will know for sure.

Detachment - living in the same house - can't and won't happen no matter how much you try. Your wife is like my H..no concept of any financial stuff and now living out of the house he is getting a taste of the real world bills because I was the one that handled all the financial stuff. It is called a reality check.

I know you want to make it easier for the boys BUT again I think it will be much more stressful for both of you to live separately under one roof. They see and hear and it will have a negative impact on them in the long run.

Also after being 20 years in a sex starved marriage, you will just continue to be sex-starved for another 20 years trying to make that arrangement work.

If a divorce is what you really want you will need to put on your thinking hat and figure out a way to separate your lives so YOU can have a life. It might mean Mrs. Puppy getting a full time job which is a reality. You are still trying to spare her the realities of the real world. Your boys are not so young that they need someone home 24/7 but I know how busy it gets driving them to all the activities but with a schedule you can make it work.

Think about this --you are doing all of the giving; possibly you moving out instead of her; her working 10 hours you working 40/50; and the list go on.

As I said just my .02. You are in my prayers.