Need advise and support - desperately

[Jerri]

How am I coping????? Well some days better than others:( It is very hard as we used to pretty much talk to each other every day ever since we met. The NC thing is tough for me to take. Of course one of his complaints was that I was "cold and distant" and that he was the one doing all the work in the marriage. In reality, he has something of a "bullying" personality and it became easier to just withdraw. I did allow him to "change" me - what I became isn't really who I am. So I'm finding "me" again - the fun-loving, confident person I used to be (got to dig deep though).

And yes I am happy that he looks awful, but I'm worried about his health too.

I guess what I hate the most though is the not knowing what will happen - wish I had a crystal ball! I'm sure we all would like that though. There are days when I feel like tossing it all in and going to an attorney and filing for a separation, but I don't want my marriage to end...........