WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 7

[MrBond]

"She's the one who is pushing me to let go and move on. Unfortunately, she's also our marriage counselor so it really questions what she can do to really help us. "

I don't see why you don't think she's helping your M. She's just saying the same thing everyone here has been telling you from day 1. TO DETACH.

She's not telling you to stop loving your W. She didn't tell you to stop working on your R. She's telling you to let go and move on which means in DBing - DETACH AND GAL.

She sounds perfect for saving your M. She recognizes that you have to work on you and that your W has to work on herself.

I think the biggest struggle you're having is that you're still trying to FIX the M when the reality is that you don't have a M. It's perfectly normal for a man to want to "fix" things. However women want to deal with the feelings and emotions of things to which there is no easy fix. It's a M and not a broken chair leg.

You have to understand that it's out of your hands so you have to rely on yourself to get you happy.

It's extremely tough, but you take it one step at a time. One day at a time. You can do it. We all have.

"My therapist isn't giving me much hope nor are my friends."

Your T is giving you the best hope in the world. She is teaching you how YOU hold the key to your happiness and therein lies hope. If you're happy and strong there's always hope. As for friends, we all have friends who encourage us to "move on". But it's not their life so they have nothing to lose by telling you to move on. So where does it lead back to? You guessed it...YOU!

That's why detachment and GAL is so important. Turn your attention elsewhere and develop into the strong confident person once more. That will attract your W again.