Interestingly, I got to thinking about my own situation the other day, and it occurred to me that the last year has been probably my most mentally stable ever. Given that less than 3 years ago I saw myself as effectively defined by my sex-starved marriage and alternated between mild depression and contemplating self-destructive behaviours, that is a very big deal to me. And in terms of dealing with all kinds of personal challenges, last year was also my happiest.
That year-long period coincided with me starting to post regularly here - but its not a coincidence.
I think the importance of ventilating these important life issues in a safe supportive place (and getting to help others, pick up inspiring tips from others) cannot be underestimated.
The interaction here has been invaluable to me in crystallising a lot of my thoughts, feelings and beliefs about life. Telling others what you think of their particular situation has the effect of confirming to you in turn who you really are.
Bagheera (affirm your wife, meet her needs) and DQ (talk about sex directly, just take her) have been a big help to me. I'd like to think I've been of some help to others as well.
So my point is - your attitude and therefore your situation has already improved since you first started here. Keep up the reading and the posting, it removes your fear of dealing with your own issues and the issues in your marriage, and is therefore an important part of your personal growth.
(We cannot expect our spouses to face their fears and issues unless we are doing the same.)
S&A
"A man can be destroyed but not defeated" - from The Old Man and the Sea, by Ernest Hemingway.
Which I take to mean that every man has within him a spirit of relentlessness and optimism. Its already there; he just has to cultivate it.
