WRT your D17: I sooo TOTALLY agree with your reaction!! OMG!! ;-)
I don't have a daughter, but I have an (almost) teenage stepson and I have gotten the entitlement attitude too. My parents' approach was always one of you have to pitch in with your own money, but they will help. I adopted that attitude with him and I think he's better about it now. Now is the time to teach your kids about the value of money. To teach them hard work is how you have to earn it, you don't just go ask for it, that won't work anymore later on in life. I'm sending you strength, courage and perseverance for dealing with that!
Back to you: now that your H seems to be sort of taking some steps back to more friendly, make sure you keep your "distance", as in try and stay a little away from him, as in keep doing your own things to make you happy, keep him coming your way by just staying ahead of him a few steps. You're doing good!
