K has it right, you prob need treatment for depression, you are beating yourself up harshly and obviously you were not feeling ok while being with him.
As far as him trying to make you happy I'm not sure... he pretty much told you what an awful lover you were in a cruel way, a loving partner would've just parted ways amicably and not try to pound you into the ground about how he wasn't satisfied.
I had a depressed partner and the last things I would've done was to recriminate him about how poorly he was doing and how he didnt' satisfied me... all I cared about was his well-being, to be there for him for the long haul and to do all I could to lift him up. That's what a real partner does.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
