...She found out that I went to an art festival last weekend and said that she would have loved to do things like that with me, but I would have never done that if we were still together. She said that my more social lifestyle changes make her sad because this is what she was wanting two years ago. My rebuttal is, "Why didn't you just come out and tell me?". She usually responds with she doesn't want to be in a relationship where you have to ask/tell the spouse to do things. The other spouse should just know. This type of reasoning is impossible to rationalize with and seems totally out of her character.
I'm going to tell you this for any future discussion you may have with her on this.
Women will win most arguments because they're better at it, their brains are hardwired to be more mentally & emotionally intuitive, things that they can see & understand without direct communication isn't something men are gifted with. Stand your ground and don't cave in, be calm & strong, no arguing, yelling, you just make it known that this is what you believe to be true not just for you but for all people. Relationships are about people who TALK to each other, not about people who READ EACH OTHER'S MINDS. Tell her to read yours since she expects you to read hers.
Relationships that are really successful are based on honesty. Honest communication. You tell her and don't stand down either on this point that you won't tolerate the fact that she expects you to be a mind reader, if you were a mind reader, you would have picked the winning lottery numbers ages ago and would currently be a billionaire owning some special island in the south pacific. Furthermore if she really had this talent of being a mindreader that she expected you to have, she could have read your mind and would have known instantaneously that you were clueless about her unhappiness.
If she wants something from you, tell her she has to be honest about what she wants from you and just ask for it. If she can't be honest with herself about what she wants and can't be honest enough to tell you what she wants and expects you to be a mindreader and "just know", this is a unfair expectation and you won't be held to unfair standards.
