I am terrified. This is the biggest risk I had ever taken in my life. I am not usually a risk taker so this is so big.
He is withdrawing. I am trying to hold on for the rollercoaster. Hot then cold. I know he has a ton of thinking to do and he is awfully tormented. He is torn between his drug of choice and his kids. He didn't even want to talk about us the other night. Maybe too painful, maybe too guilty, maybe just don't want to work it out with me, I don't know. But if I had to guess, I think he won't ask to come back.
But I have been trying to get myself into a mindset of moving. So that is enjoyable. Nice fantasizing about my new life.
Me:39 H:40 S:9 D:7 First Bomb ONS:June 07 Second Bomb OW: March 08 Separated: March 08 M:15 yrs T:18 yrs H deep into A with OW Achieved ACCEPTANCE May 30, 09
