So the big family shindig is over and my sister and her fiancee went back home yesterday.
The family thing went ok. I got there first and didn't really notice when he walked through the door. I looked up with my new bangs and he looked at me and seemed to be trying to either suppress a smile or trying not to laugh at the new hairdo. He kind of gave me a weird head hug since I was sitting down and he was standing. We ate and I sat at a different table with his aunts and cousins while he sat with the kids. They asked me a bunch of questions about going back to school and work and said how proud they were of me. That was nice. He played catch with the kids and when he noticed I was watching with my sister he came over and stood with us. It seemed as though he was around me a lot that day just hovering. The kids did the egg hunt and we left shortly after that. I hugged everyone goodbye, but only said see ya to him since he didn't really acknowledge that I was leaving and I wasn't going to approach him for a hug first. I said it in a cheerful way and left it at that. There was one part where I kind of regressed and looked for him in the house when I should have just stayed outside with everyone else. He asked if I felt odd being there and told me that he had an issue with it at first because they were his family but that he quickly got over it. That kind of bugged me, but I brushed it off.
Easter Sunday he texted me and said Happy Easter and made a joke that if there were leftovers I could bring them over. I decided to be nice and took him a plate and to the store to buy some sheets for his new bed. I even picked them out for him. I totally went over there just as his friend and helped him with that mindset. I think I'm actually starting to detach because I helped him in the way that I would any other friend and didn't analyze anything that happened in the short time we were together. He asked for a hug this time which was nice.
I was pretty sad on Sunday. It was strange being at my mother's house with everyone there but him. It was weird on Saturday too because I was there with him but not really with him. It was our first family holiday separated and it made me sad to think that this is what it might be like from now on. I did the basket thing by myself and that was hard. It's funny how many little things you share and how much they mean to you. What's worse is not knowing that they were that important and meaningful when you had the chance to do them. I'm learning and seeing so many things that I wish I had noticed when he was home. I wonder if I'll ever be able to put this knowledge into use with him.
