Maybe you should use going dark and the LRT more as tools to remove yourself from the situation so you can start to figure out what it is that you want from your relationship. It seems as though from the very beginning there were things that should have put up red flags for you such as having to buy your own wedding ring (was it because he couldn't afford it or because he was uninterested in looking for one) and not being able to take his name (was that because he wanted you to keep your independence or was he planning ahead).
One thing you have to consider is that it's not going to seem as though he's noticing or appreciating what you're doing now because his mindset is of one who just wants to get away from the source of his problems and start a new life. Unfortunately he sees you as the source of his problems. Right now he's still focusing on all of the reasons why you're not the one for him and why this is the best thing blah, blah, blah. By doing the LRT you're taking yourself out of the picture and giving him the space he needs to realize that it's not all you. It's not going to happen as soon as you'd like and you may never know that he's realized this. Just do all of this for your sanity and well being. If you're doing it just so he'll notice and you keep checking to see if he's noticed then it won't work. You have to focus on yourself and your D and start building a life for just the two of you.
