Good Morning friends, I hope everybody is OK. I was/am so sad reading about LOla's loss. Life has its way to quiet us down...
On H: I am not sure he is depressed. If what I see now is depression, he has been depressed ever since I met him. But that's not the fact. Because we did have good times, loving times, I remember him calling me his woman, being very loving, very caring, laughing, enjoying trips, parties, etc etc.
The way I see it, is that my H thinks life is what it is, and he finds it difficult, almost impossible to try to change/improve situations. He never initiates changes. Part of why I was shocked when he decided to leave me and the reason why I believe he got his motive/initiative from the OW. He takes life as it comes, loves routine, stable and safe careful moves and no adrenaline. The only time he looks excited is when he throws his famous fits...
I dont know if there is a use for me to analyse him. I can imagine, think, make up stories, explain, justify, excuse etc etc, but if HE doesnt realise life is wonderful and that he is choosing not to enjoy it and that I am not willing anymore to do the same, there is no hope for "a happily ever after". Think about it: What do I want? I want hugs and kisses, to go out for dinner with my H, to be able to share my fears and anxieties, to have dreams, have good times, ML... Is that too much to ask when you are 38?
Ali, I am not issueing any ultimatums this week. But since we will spend more time together, I will try to be in a good mood and enjoy myself. I will try to have fun with my babies and family and him if he wants to.
I have this feeling that this summer, things will be different. K
