No one but your H knows for sure what he means. Maybe that he isn't sure. Maybe that he doesn't want to hurt you. But right now is not the right time for you to beg, cry and plead with him!
Just step back for awhile, read the book (glad you got it today), and try some of the techniques. Start a journal so you can record what you try, and what works and what doesn't. And don't show the book to H - it's your secret weapon!
I can relate so much to your struggle... I am thinking and praying for you. We have to be patient, more than ever before, I think you need to give H the space he asked for. Take care of yourself, get that haircut & color, and join that gym. These are the things you can control!
