Do you have a hard time thinking of your husband dating at this point? Or is it, like, old news?
Puppy
Well I don't think any married person is totally uncaring about their WAS dating! And of course I think how horrible that is for the kids b/c at least at one point he was having OW over with the kids all the time. Great role model!!!
D9 used to constantly mention OW, and doesn't anymore the past month or so, so don't know if they aren't as involved anymore or maybe he just realized how gross he was being having her around our kids while still married?
I do have to say although I think I will never be happy about my H dating, well not as long as we're married, I think it'll be less painful for him to date someone other than OW. She was a friend of mine and has been married 3 times, and has ? parenting like giving her young dd alcohol and other stuff I've heard about her so I do not want her anywhere near my sweet, formerly innocent kids!
As time goes on, I'm more convinced that he's making a huge mistake. I don't need him like I once thought, and I think at some point he's going to regret at least some of the stuff he's done the past 2 years. Or you'd think so anyway!!!
He's dating some messed up married woman with messed up kids. So I almost would feel sorry for him, but not there yet.
I think something is going on with H. He's become friendlier, remember how mean he used to be? I would actually say he's been friendly and nice lately. Although, part of me is horrible b/c I think maybe it's so he can get a better D settlement. He also looks me in the face now instead of kind of looking anywhere else.
But I really feel mentally I have moved on. I'm looking forward to getting the D over, and living a great life. I don't plan to be friends with him, but will continue to be friendly.
Pup, have you thought about posting a thread somewhere here about your own sitch? Or have you? Just wondering. Karen
I will agree that I will NEVER be OK with my W and her current OM. A lot of that has to do with the fact that HE knows that she's still married; yet he's made no effort to stay out of our M once he found out. He wasn't the OM in her life when she split last Sept. He's never been M'd; so he has no idea, but he'll get an idea in about 3-5 years I suspect.
For the very fact that he's still around after finding out makes it hard for me to EVER like him. the next man in her life, maybe. By then we'll be D'd and I know I'm going to have no problem moving on.
Yeah,my H is now looking at my face now and making eye contact as well. It's a little thing but such a difference. It's like they kind of have some respect for us now.
I think the reason is that they don't feel pressured as much by us anymore. The lack of eye contact in my case suggests that he feels really guilty and can't wait to be somewhere else and can't look us in the eye and if they do they feel that we are pursuing them. They don't want to see the pain and so is avoiding looking into them. But now that the pressure is off, they are acting a little bit more normal. Which is a good sign. I know your H will regret his decisions. I am also glad that you are finding some peace with your sitch. You are also very very strong.
Me:39 H:40 S:9 D:7 First Bomb ONS:June 07 Second Bomb OW: March 08 Separated: March 08 M:15 yrs T:18 yrs H deep into A with OW Achieved ACCEPTANCE May 30, 09
I have really been calling and emailing about places. We looked at a trailer today which was in a safe neighborhood, but only outside dogs, and the landlord lived next door and says he's there all the time! I couldn't leave our dog out in the freezing or rainstorms and stuff. But otherwise it was really nice and fenced. I'm looking at 2 more places tomorrow. Both of those are 2 bedroom, but the one is 1100 square foot so maybe that one will almost be big enough. I'm just going to have to get this place for hopefully short-term and then can afford a 3 bedroom maybe in a year or 2.
One place is a guest cottage, and the landlord lives in the main house. It has a fenced backyard and allows pets and its only $400. The other is a cabin in the woods on 3 acres, 1100 sq. ft., and is $650 & sounds nice. The last place said no pets, but I called and just said how about a pet deposit then? (Something I never would have done 1 or 2 years ago!) He had talked to me for a couple minutes, so he said yes! That one has a guest cottage on it also (popular in this area I guess) and he said his wife's son lives in that, he's in his 40's and an artist!!! (Meant to ask if he's tall) And I said no problem you can already tell I'm a talker, so I'd love that! He laughed. When I told him my name he groaned & said oh, that was my 1st wife's name who he was married to for 20 years!!! I said I totally understand that!!! Karen
Well I wish you the best of luck with those tomorrow. Sounds promising. I am sorry that you are having to go through all of this but you have such a beautiful spirit that you seem to make the situation not so dire.
I will keep my fingers crossed for you.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
We were out again driving through part of them! Not half as bad as last week's storms. We're all flooded over here, esp. people that live near the water. How are you doing???
And I said no problem you can already tell I'm a talker, so I'd love that! He laughed. When I told him my name he groaned & said oh, that was my 1st wife's name who he was married to for 20 years!!! I said I totally understand that!!! 
Karen