I am working towards the move. Had H signed the application forms for the new school. Just sent an e-mail to kids' current teachers asking for references for kids (which is a requirement from new school). Doing this for our benefit of moving forward, not for provoking any reaction from H.
It's good for me because these are just small little steps towards a new life without H but it makes me feel more in control of my environment and I can envision our new life better. The new school is beautiful, a lot of green spaces and wonderful activities for the kids. They will be very happy there, I am sure.
Having a mental picture of our new life in my head makes letting go so much easier. I should have done this months ago but I wasn't really ready mentally. Now I am. I have not given up on my M but I know if I have to move, it will be to a good place with a very good life.
Even still, I might not give up on my M entirely. I know my H has not suffered loss. He has been cake-eating for the past year and so had not had to deal with any consequences. Maybe if we moved far away, it will really sink in what life is life without us. But by then, I will be in a good, nurturing place with my family. We will see how the cards fall. It ain't over til it's over, that's my motto.
Me:39 H:40 S:9 D:7 First Bomb ONS:June 07 Second Bomb OW: March 08 Separated: March 08 M:15 yrs T:18 yrs H deep into A with OW Achieved ACCEPTANCE May 30, 09
