She does. And, she was going to have to pay half if it was over $250 or so. The sticking point with me is the feeling of entitlement! And, last year I bought her a $300 prom dress, and told her that was a LOT, but would do it... Guess where it is now? LENT TO ANOTHER GIRL SHE BARELY KNOWS! God!
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
I understand about the entitlement aspect, so frustrating. If it's any consolation, when my oldest went away to school and was more on her own, that attitude dropped quickly.
OK, we're going to "THE mall" in the suburbs tomorrow. I have enlisted the assistance of her BF, who is charge of keeping D17's attitude in check. LOL
H made b-fast for everyone today. SHOCK! He doesn't do that! It was good, too! THEN.... Had a drama filled am with D17 (DRESS!), but that appears to be over, then went to my parent's home for Easter dinner. Uneventful... but H has a decent time there as everyone plays ping pong or pool, and H is ultra competitive, so enjoys himself. We're back home now, and just watched tv together.
Nothing new to report. H is being a lot nicer, also appears to be contributing more... Nothing miraculous, though. But, I'll take it.
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
A 17 y/o daughter with a sense of entitlement? Really??? I for one am shocked beyond belief. I'm not sure I'll get anything done today with that revelation bouncing around me head <joking>
I think you need to stop guessing what your husband will or won't do with regards to the doctor. You didn't think he'd take a leap off the diving board of sanity of either. Just sayin' you should try not to assume what he'll do or won't do.
Might I add that you are doing sooooooo well. You are detaching. You are enjoying life with or without H. He's responding well too, but keep at it. I can see the happiness in your posts and I am very relieved to see that.
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
OK, dress update. We found one. It's amazing. Made us BOTH happy. H called to check in on us... wanting to know if we're still talking, or if we had caused a scene. Sent him the MMS pic of D17 in the dress. He says, "So, I love that dress. HOW MUCH do I love that dress? Looks like a major purchase!" Told him it was MUCH cheaper than her original pick, and he sent D17 a txt telling her he was proud of her saving of a couple hundred dollars. She replied, "So, can I use the extra on jeans?!" NICE!
AJ - I'm not so sure I'm detaching, as we've not had any issues lately. We don't have any issues unless I bring them up. He simply exists in his 'happily friends' stage... Even starting to become overly nice!
UPDATE:
We NOW have three cases of strep throat in the family and one bladder infection! JOY! Looks like the rugrats are home from school on the first day back tomorrow! GOD HELP ME!
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
WRT your D17: I sooo TOTALLY agree with your reaction!! OMG!! ;-)
I don't have a daughter, but I have an (almost) teenage stepson and I have gotten the entitlement attitude too. My parents' approach was always one of you have to pitch in with your own money, but they will help. I adopted that attitude with him and I think he's better about it now. Now is the time to teach your kids about the value of money. To teach them hard work is how you have to earn it, you don't just go ask for it, that won't work anymore later on in life. I'm sending you strength, courage and perseverance for dealing with that!
Back to you: now that your H seems to be sort of taking some steps back to more friendly, make sure you keep your "distance", as in try and stay a little away from him, as in keep doing your own things to make you happy, keep him coming your way by just staying ahead of him a few steps. You're doing good!
Sam: Thank you! Glad to have back-up on the dress!
I am going to a "thank you" party tonight for work on the Lutheran School's fundraiser, on the ONLY night H can get home during the week. He's going to handle the boy's soccer training(s). This is out of character for me. I would NEVER have done something on that ONE night he's home before. Hey, I'll make sure I look terrific, have dinner (H's favorite) ready for them before I leave, and thank him for handling things so I can have a little fun. Then, be off!
THANKS!!!!
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Don't expect any compliment from him, but make sure you are dressed to kill when you go out! That should catch his attention! Will make him wonder what he's missing out on! Who knows, maybe even a hint of jealousy?!
sounds great! you go and have fun! show him you have a life and you enjoy it.
and GREAT job not freaking out about the condo. That is perfect. not bad at all for asking, and staying calm is important.
are ya feeling up to any seducing yet???? I just swear your H is just waiting and waiting for you to give the first move and he's just as scared as you. IMHO
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
