It made it very frustrating. I'll tell you why. I know all the ways to make relationships better, i.e., techniques, exercises, behavior modifications, but nothing worked with the mid-lifer. I tried everything with my ex. In fact a lot of what I did made his behavior so much worse.
As far as coming to terms with the whole mid life crisis. The percentage of people who go through mid life do not go through this as intense as our spouses have. I have not dealt with too many clients that had it as bad as my ex. I had to look at bipolar, borderline personality disorder, mood disorders, narcisistic personality, etc... I wanted to place a label on my ex because that is what I do for a living. It is not that easy with mid lifers. They are kind of a jumble of everything. The worse of the worse. Traditional treatments do not work for the mid-lifer. Interventions are looked at as "control" by our spouses. Most of the Ml'ers don't want help until they crash, and even then some don't. So to answer your question, my experience and knowledge did not help one bit. Ml'ers are their own thing.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
