Hey M.. I felt the same, before reading others commetns, that he sounds depressed. In fact, quite the cliched male depression, the type where they throw themselves into work to numb themselves and so they dont have time to think.
I dont really understand all the defenisveness and the blaming and remembering who did what when, to whom, is he trying to lesen his own guilt by trying to pin some stuff on you?
You said "No books, no physical exercise, no time for thinking, no time for doing fun things. He is happy with no passion in his life. Content. It's the way he is."
... yes, but I dont agree he is happy (have you asked him? REALLY asked him, in himself I mean?) I thikn its his coping mechanism, his mask.. he works all the hours and has no life.. tahts not normal and the way you described him, he doesnt seem or sound happy. And if you really think he is so happy and contented, then why did he cry like a baby in the IC, more than she has seen any man cry in 12 years ?? And why did he tell you a few weeks ago that he is lonely?
Just because he gets angry, defensive and stonewalls you when you try to talk to him doesnt mean he is ok and happy.. he sounds liek the men in that book by Stonsy.. that they feel SOOO inadequate and shamed (starts with the mother hey !!!) that there natural normal reaction is to stonewall and get defensive and critical... etc etc.. you know the drill.
Well, I see your H as a very emotionally immature guy who is doing all the wrong things for you and for himself, in order to have a happy, fulfilling life, neverlone R.. and NOT a man who is content and happy with the person he is, or way he is dooing things. Its like he's on automatic pilot.. shut down.. like Windows, on standby mode...what would wake him up?? Any ideas??
It must have been a crummy few days anyway.. sounds kind of frustrating?
