First Piecing Thread

[Hope4us]

Gotcha. I wondered if that was it after I posted.

Uh...I don't think my W is NPD. What I do think is W grew up having to look out for No. 1 because no one else did.

Mom and Dad D'd when she was 8 months. Dad never paid much attention to her. Mom married Step Dad when she was 4, but Step Dad made it very clear that W and her older brother were second class citizens when compared to W's half sister and brother.

No real father figure in her life except her Grandfather and Uncle. Uncle is an alcoholic. Nice guy, but going to happy hour is the most important thing in the world to him. Her Grandfather loved her completely, but used to pick on her about her "big ears" etc (and they're not big, but he did harass her about them). And then when Grandpa died, W wasn't allowed to go to the funeral because someone needed to watch the house......

I think she felt (feels) all alone because the one male influence she had in her life left her when she was 16. Not the best time to have something like that happen in your life.

She went to college a couple years later and started bouncing from guy to guy looking for that male attention she so desperately missed out on growing up. And I think OM was just a situation that got out of control because (as she admits to me) OM was safe because he was married and she just didn't realize before it was too late that there are married people in this world that don't respect their own or other people's marriages.

Now she's stuck between what she knows is the right thing to do and an admitted by her, good marriage prior to the A and those feelings she got from the A and her having to take a good hard look at herself to see just why she let it happen.

So what does that leave me?

A W that is on one hand happy with what the A did for her (her selfish side) and unhappy with what she's done (the good side that I know is in her) and she just doesn't know how to get out of it.

Wow, that was a long response to a quick question. So yes, she does have that "it's all about me" syndrome, but I think she comes by it honestly.

And the funny thing is, it's one of the things I do love about her. There's a certain beauty to me in someone that can be selfish to a certain extent. The "I don't need anyone" persona. I find it attractive. But at the same time that prevents us being as close as we could be if she'd just open up to me. And I know that's what was so attractive about OM. He has that same "it's all about me" personality. Must be intoxicating to be involved with someone who doesn't really care about you when you don't really care about yourself.....if that makes any sense.

Ok, pscyho babble over.....