WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 7

[confusedinpa]

Anbody have any thoughts/experience with going to counseling with a WAW?

My wife and I have spent almost a dozen sessions rehashing the past just to have the counselor conclude that we never achieved a fully connected intimacy in our marriage of 9.5 years. Principle reason for that had been communication. I know I did my share which contributed to the lack of communication. My wife hasn't openly acknowledged it, but I think internally its on her radar. Part of it is because of some of the things she had said or she agrees when I say that our communication has improved.

Now she, like I had a few weeks ago, is tired of talking about the past. The past for her is just bringing back the hurt/pain that she felt. She wants to talk about the present. Not the future (i.e. how do we move forward or improve), but just the present. She does acknowledge that this may lead to a conversation about the past or future and is ok with that.

I really don't fully understand/follow what's she's getting at, but was curious what other people thought or their experience.

I made it clear to my wife that she should go to counseling only if she wanted to go. Hence her decision to go every other week. She said her rational is that she doesn't feel like things change that much from week to week to really get into different things. Don't really know for sure, other than the fact that she's not going the next 2 sessions.

Thoughts or encouragement would really be welcome!