I believe Michelle Weiner Davis when she says a large percentage of the divorces are unnecessary. Ours is one of them.
I don't understand the motive for this divorce. We get along fine, don't fight much. I've done so much in the relationship and for the children. I do most everything around the house - she does the bills. I've been so honest and devoted for so long. I've had trouble with dysthymia (low grade depression) for a few years and I know that's hard to live with but I've been trying my hardest to fight it. And this is the reward I get.
She asked why I seemed to not trust her lately on some of the sep/divorce matters? After all we had been together for 18 years and never had a trust issue and always had been kind to one another. Hmmm...Out of the blue you announce you want a divorce, don't want to try fixing anything, want me out so your best friend can move in, and could make things tough legally if I don't. (My least favorite expression, "It is what it is, and nothing will change it. ")
So I'm really on a roller coaster. Things had been going well lately and I was hopeful. I still love her and can envision the changes that would make a strong marriage. For the most part I believe the divorce is unnecessary and the relationship is worth fighting for. I feel boredom and MLC made her think the grass is greener. Maybe someday she will realize what she walked away from - but I'm afraid she's too stubborn, too proud, and too surrounded by other divorced people to ever come back.However a small voice inside feels so betrayed, that this so over, and makes me just want to get far away. I guess I just have to figure out which voice to listen to.
I guess I'll just take the sep and divorce paperwork slow, continue DBing, and not rush things. Should I go dark?Dim?
"My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand." Thich Nhat Hanh
