Gwyn, I can tell you that it is much easier to see this from outside the sitch, but you really did make a startling revelation yourself, today.
It is an unhealthy relationship.
Consider yourself lucky that you dodged a bullet - you aren't married to this one!
You can set your standards much higher than just being with someone who won't cheat on you.
Tell the guy he doesn't have to "settle," he has to move on.
It is better to be on your own than trying to turn yourself inside out trying hit a moving target - it takes a lot of time to find a comfortable place with that (because it is different, doesn't feel familiar). I thought I was actually going through withdrawal...
