Need Help handling affair thats still going on

[kjensen]

Hi everyone-
I think you all are saying be more unavailable, don't initiate contact, but find the right balance for H and I. Don't expect or count on friendship. Let go more.
I guess I thought I was headed this direction, but haven't found the right balance quite yet.
Told H this morning I wouldn't see him at lunch as I have errands to run. He came early this mroning before I could leave(that was my plan)...so I saw him briefly and it is friendly from my side-he's as friendly as he can be considering he's often a walking zombie/exhausted always.

Will try to be busy this week and avoid the house while H is there. Maybe I will see if he'll got to the bank and we can separate accounts, that will be one thing less connecting us.

Almost feels like, even though he left me, I'm now the one pushing him further out the door-as he is half in and half out. That feels weird to me, but I think I get it-

Does this happen alot? Where an MLCer will sort of leave, and the spouse has to be the one to nudge the MLCer to be truly independent? H says this is what he wants, but his actions don't back his words up... I know he is conflicted about his feelings for me..this separation is supposed to help him figure that out, right?