Your wife appears to want someone that she respects and she only respects you when you stand up and show her how strong you are. Which is hard for someone who wants to be loving and caring and a people pleaser.
Completely hard.
It seems to be a very common issue here on the boards, including for me. We take a stand, see the movement toward us, see the WAS become vulnerable -- we soften, open up and start to take care of them --- and then they are gone again.
It is a very hard line to walk - firm with strong boundaries, but caring at the same time.
I am finding that the "N.U.T.S" concept works OK - once you figure out what your boundaries are and get in the habit of enforcing them. It's not a habit that changes over night, however.
Keep it up PD. You know what to do. Have you read "Hang on to your NUTS" ?
Me 42, W 39, S8, S6, S2 M 11y, A & ILYBNILWY 11/08 Walking away from a bad situation.
