PM Thread #5 - Hope new plan works

[PositivelyMommy]

Bluerain, I wish I were in your shoes. My H is not over his A, he is still very much into it. It has been over a year and I just cannot wait years on end so that's why I told him about me moving and moving on. It is very good that your H is mourning for your R, at least he is looking on the bright side of things, the good times. Keep up the good work.

Karen, thanks for the kind words. I do think he enjoys the reassurances but also seems threatened by them at the same time. It's still early days after my 'bomb' so I will have to watch and see but I did not give any reassurances today.

Hope, I feel like I am the biggest gamble of my life and feel it's the highest of stakes. I am not a gambler by nature so it feels very unnatural and scary. I will always have love for my H but definitely losing respect for him for the way he is treating me so yes, it was time. Don't know if it IS the right move for me but I needed it take it. It was, in my mind, a fish or cut bait mentality. If you don't want to be with me then I need to know once and for all so I can move on. Otherwise, we can work on being a family again. This limboland just got old.

But I am so thankful for this site because this is what happened today. He acted as though we didn't even talk last night. Nothing. He didn't make eye contact as much as last night, didn't smile or anything. Seemed preoccupied when he was with kids, back to his zombie self. I know from other threads that WAS will backtrack after having an connection with their LBS so I was expecting it and didn't react to it or comment on it or anything. Just acted as if. If I were not on here, I would have forced my hand and asked him what the problem was and pursued, pursued til he ran away again. Anyways, I didn't say anything. Did our usual, tucked the kids in.

Then when he was leaving, I asked him to sign the registration forms for the kids' new school! I told him about looking at schools already but I wanted to make it real for him and for him to realize that this is going to happen. I am not a pushover anymore and it's no threat. It just is. He didn't say a word, he just signed the application forms and left without saying goodbye. I know he was angry, very angry. But I wasn't going to go all soft for him again just after one good conversation in which he revealed himself and back out of my future plans just because PERHAPS he still misses our R. I want him to stop us and come back to our family.

But I think I made my point, I didn't have to say it i.e. I am preparing a new life without you with the kids. It's your choice to have us stay and be a family or your choice to let us go. Here is the real proof I am serious and you really have to look within yourself to see what you really want.

I know he will have a lot to think about. I will bide my time. I feel like I've turned the tables. Now I am the prey, he can decide if he wants to catch the prey or not.