Renee, Where did you get your crystal ball? No one knows for sure if your h will return or not. My question to you is this....do you want the last thoughts he has at night to be of you in an angry state or one that is pleasant and maybe, just maybe he will second guess himself down the road? Do you want him to see you as the person he fell in love w/many years ago or as a bitter, angry shrew?
For one thing, the divorce is final, over and done with. The anger you are feeling could be put to better use in helping to drive your bus to do something different, anything different in your life. Use that anger to clean your house, take a walk, do the chores/errands that you've put off and yes, even help you w/finding another job. The anger you have now will not help the situation between you and your xh...it will only harm it. You have been attempting to get him to help you w/your son and to help you around your home...if you use that anger in a negative way towards him, I can guarantee you that he will not want to come around you, hear you, or have anything to do w/you for a very, very long time. Is that what you want?
I learned a long time ago how to phrase what I needed to say to my xh. I stand my ground on his antics, but you know what? I do not say anything in a fit of anger. Anger gets you no where in life. Learn to use the power of words in a better, softer way. Actions always speak louder than words.
It doesn't matter who is divorced here and posting to you. The posters have all given you excellent advice. It is up to you to determine whether or not you wish to listen and choose what advice to take. My advice would be to cool your jets, move on w/your life, find a way to soften your words and speak w/actions. Focus on you and your children and leave your xh totally alone to screw up his own life. When you leave them alone, move on w/your life and really start to enjoy life again, that's when they will notice the changes in you and may even want to be a part of your family once again. No one wants to be around a bitter, angry and unhappy person. Shed those traits and start looking at life in a different way....there is always a silver lining in every cloud....find it and start looking for things to smile about. This is YOUR time to rediscover yourself and do the things that you've not had time to do in many years. Make a list and start checking them off.
Again, allow God to work on your xh and drive h is bus for him. You have your own bus to drive.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
