I agree with the others, don't beat yourself up over it. This is an extremely difficult time for you. Your emotions are running high and the holidays are difficult.
You need to take care of yourself first and foremost. If that means not dealing with your family right now then that's ok. Let them know that you appreciate their love and support, and what you need right now is (to listen, some space, whatever you need them to do).
Also, if you feel like the anxiety is getting the better of you, make an appointment with your doctor to discuss getting some meds to help you out. Many people here do, it's nothing to be ashamed of. I got a mild anti-depressant which I ultimately decided not to take (would have interefered with my nightly glass or two of wine!) and also something to help me sleep which I did use until I got back on track.
The anxiety is almost overwhelming at times. I originally went to a doctor and they prescribed .25mg Xanax. Honestly, it didn't phase me. I have been taking two (0.5mg) at night to sleep only, but I am waking up in such a down mood.
I have to do something to manage the depression and anxiety so I scheduled a doctors visit for tomorrow at 2:30. I am having an extremely difficult time with my workload right now and I am very concerned about my performance. I have spoken with my Director and he has given me full 100% support as he just recently went through a divorce. It is helpful, but I also know that I have to get back on track. Hopefully some sort of anti-depressant will help with the wandering thoughts and really low points. I have never taken meds for this type of thing in my life, so I am apprehensive.
M 30 WAW 29 T 15 M 5 ILYBNILWY 3/8/09 Separated 3/14/09
