We had great day yesterday. H was over when he promised. We took the kids to an egg hunt. It was at a church and it was really nice. It had free lunch, worship music, playland, fire truck and boat viewing, and the egg hunt. Kids had fun.
We we got back home, h said he needed to take a nap. He slept for about 3 hours. I do a little shopping and then fixed dinner. H left soon after. Said he would be over mid-morning on Easter and that if I wanted to take the kids to church, but that he would not be joining us.
He gave me a nice hug and kiss goodbye and said he needed to get his sleeping on schedule. That would be nice. If you sleep for hours during the day, of course you will be up all night, but not for me to try to help h get his sleeping in check.
Tomorrow, we have plans to do our taxes and watch movies. No expectations.
Happy Easter All!
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
Glam, Happy Easter! Your Saturday turned out well. Sounds like he's very much aware that his sleeping patterns are in the pits. Part of the problem is the meds may be making him sleepy right along with the depression. He's aware and I'm hoping he'll do something about it.
Keep the expectations at zero and I do believe the day will be a very pleasant one for you and your family. Enjoy your Sunday!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Ok trying not to have expectations. I am NOT sure how to do that, especially when h says he will be over at 10:30am and he is now an hour late.
Wonder if he will show at all. It just floors me that he can't honor his time committment. I am beginning to wonder if it's just me he doesn't honor his time with or others as well. Wondering how he feels when he doesn't honor his time and WHY he can't do something about himself to be better. Is it he just doesn't care what time he shows and he doesn't care what others think of him? I get so confused over the lack of respect.
Kids got up early and the Easter Bunny had arrived. They hunted for eggs and then enjoyed their baskets. I took pics so h could enjoy later, but it's the whole family life that h is really missing out on. I really don't get it.
H said last night before he left, that I was good at the whole holiday thing like his mom was and that is probably WHY he M me. Hmmmmm was that the only thing?
Don't know what to expect today! Oh yeah almost forgot, I am NOT to have any expectations.
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Glam, This is the hardest thing to do because you are a prompt and reliable person when it comes to meeting appointments. Unfortunately your h isn't there yet in meeting the commitments he's made when it comes to time. Keep the expectations at zero and you won't be disappointed.
Hang in there!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
H called around 2pm on Easter and said he was on his way. When he arrived he asked if I could fix some lunch. I said ok h and fixed a simple lunch.
Then h took a nap for 3 hours. We were suppose to do taxes but that didn't happen.
Snodderly I hear what you are saying, but it's hard. Then what really is the point when you can't expect anything from him. What should you think? How should you feel? How is it fair? Would he want to be treated like this? If not, then why doesn't he try harder?
He's been saying for weeks now that he has to go to the Dr, chiro, IC, bloodwork, exercise, but then nothing gets done. No appointments are made and he isn't working so it's not about time. It's hard not to have expectations when he says Glam this is what I am going to do, but then me I should know better that he isn't going to follow through.
Sorry, I sound like a broken record. I did have a nice weekend regardless and had a few unexpected Easter wishes.
Thanks Cinders and Trusting for stopping by. Trusting I don't know how you keep going. I have always admired your strength.
Never heard from h today. He says he will be over on Tues to do taxes. Should I flip a coin?
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
Glam, I hear what you are saying and here's my take on the matter.
1. Were you planning to have a simple lunch at 2 in the afternoon? If you weren't, I wouldn't have fixed a lunch for him. You are not his mother...he should have picked something up and ate it prior to coming over. Now, if you were planning to fix a lunch at that time of the day, then fine, but otherwise...no more doing that for him. Time for him to grow up and learn to fend for himself.
2. Taxes weren't done on Sunday? Well...he better be there on Tuesday to do them, for you only have one day left to file them. I wouldn't remind him...see if he shows up.
3. Listen to what he says he's going to do and then toss it aside. He's babbling and paddling no where fast.
Glam, I wouldn't wait on him for anything. If you and your children have plans and he doesn't show up by the agreed upon time, go on w/o him. He will eventually get the message and may start stepping up to the plate and being on time. By waiting around for him, you are actually enabling him to continue this poor behavior, depression or not. Glam, start living your life as if he's not there. If he truly wants to be a part of it, he'll try harder to do the right things. He's been in the same rut for a long time and something has to shake him up just a little bit to get him paddling down the stream again.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
