puppy...i am so sorry that you are in pain this morning. i don't know your exact situation but i know we are going through the same kind of pain. i know that life is not over, its just different. its excruciating to be hurt by the person you love the most and had all expectations and dreams to spend the rest of your life with. when that person gives up on you, its hard not to give up on yourself.
dc...you are exactly right. i have been more focused on worrying about if the affair is over and trying to find the will to move on from that, i feel like we missed our chance of working on what was broken before to get him to the affair part of it. i should have jumped off the roller coaster long ago and started immediately working on myself. somehow i will pick myself up and do the things i need to do. i will still be here even if he won't so i need to make myself happy. i can't allow him to make me miserable.
i feel like our marriage is over but yet in the same breath i feel like there is still a renewed hope. i think that him moving out will be the best thing. i think i should have let him go in the beginning when he wanted to leave. i think that would have pushed me to be the person i know i can be but have been scared to be.
he actually admitted to me this morning that he didn't really try to save the relationship. he was just going through the motions of everyday life and ignoring the problems in hopes they would go away. he even admitted to me he was willing to keep living this way for as long as i would let him.
is it stupid to think that there is still hope for us even after separating? i feel like we didn't get it right in MC the first time. all i did was talk about the affair, now i know he needed to talk about what happened before the affair. he said he was scared to hurt me by telling me all the things that bothered him. and because of his silence we are here...talking about separating and divorce and if he had just spoke up when he felt that way we could have overcome together.
thank you all for listening and helping. i wish you all a good Easter and hopefully a pain free day.
