Stress, WAW and life in general II

[mindfull]

AJ -

My D17's Dad and I divorced when she was 2. She went between our homes until she was 14 1/2. The entire 12 1/2 years she went between our homes it was hell each and every time she left (even tried to make the switch as a pick-up from school). The reason it was hell was because her Dad saw his visitation as a time for her to NOT be with me, not as a time to enjoy HER. I have a few friends who are divorced, and have awesome R's with their exes, and the kids do beautifully. I think the underlying reason is that they are genuinely enjoying their time with their kids, and not seeing it as time they've "earned" for the kids to be away from the other parent.

It always made my H sick to his stomach to see her leave... she would be crying and clinging to one of us. And, H felt he couldn't affect anything being the StepDad.

So, I tell you this, because I saw your comment re: letting W have them full time so they don't feel like a rag doll. My thoughts are, if done with the best of intentions for the kids and yourself, and NOT done out of spite between you, the kids will thrive. I have proof with two friends. Their kids are doing great. The parents are doing great.

You can too, if you have to.

Let's just hope you don't have to!

And, btw, I feel as you do re: separation. Not sure I could do it!

There's a post on here re: article in an online magazine regarding M's and sticking it out. Look for it, think it was Friday or so. It is interesting, and hopefully, true! If I can find it quickly (before Easter bunny arrives), I'll post it back to you.

Be well, friend. Happy Easter!