Hi SL, no I don't think we see things that differently. I have raised 3 teenagers and now have a beautiful g/son. I /we (when my x and I were together) always helped them out and even now I like to treat them all as much as I can. My sons now actually suport me to some degree, they both have good jobs and want to do this for me. I am very blest with my children and always have been.(they are now 10 years or so older than your son) My point was that circumstances change and so do our expectations and sad to say those of our children do as well to some degree. Your son and his father have to make there own arrangements as far as a relationship goes. It will drive you crazy if you still have expectations of your x towards your son. My x who loved his kids dearly has had no contact in over 8 years apart from seeing his d and g/son when g/son was about 8 mths old-he will be 2 soon! They get nothing from him. They have no expectations and neither do I. I have wishes and dreams but I never voice them to my x or our children. So the less you have to do with your x,whether it is about son or not the better for your well being and mental health. That really was the point I was making. Yes our children whatever age are our children but we also need to prepare them for the world ahead and independance is a gift parents give there children.
