New to the world of adultery

[K4D]

I hate to tell you this. And you probably know it. But the saying here is believe nothing you hear and only 50% of what you see.

My friend and my W's cousin told me my W was having a PA and she denied it to and said she only said it to see if it would get back to me.

I discovered the truth and the truth was that she really was having one.

I would be inclined to say that your H was having an A. Why put it out there to anyone if that is not the case regardless of whether you think it would make the D easier.

Don't spend to much time being confused. Oh I hate to say this, but go with your gut instinct. You have to. At this point I would put money down that he was having the A.

More often that not I find from reading other peoples situations that there is usually an A of some sort going on that usually brings on the D. Infact, rarely do I see it be anything else.

Its hard to accept. I know. I was physically shaken when my friend called me to tell me that my W was sleeping with OM. I literally was shaking. I couldn't believe it and didn't want to. But the truth was, she was sleeping with him. I got the real proof in her emails later on.

I'm sorry FitChik. And while you do not have proof in writing like I got. The chances that he didn't have an A going on are slim to none. Word got out. He denied it. Why else would he want the D so quickly after? You can try and figure it out all day long and it will just eat at you. I would accept it as it more than likely was going on and decide from that point of view how to proceed.

Again, I'm sorry. But that is my personal experience and also the experience of reading other peoples situations.

Brighter days are ahead. DO NOT let this deter you from your faith in God. That is the most important thing of all.

I have a question for you. You said this was his second marriage and your first. Why was he D'd before?

Also, this is up to you and you may have already read it or may not have. Read Matthew 19:9 in the bible.

There is a couple reasons I point this out since you have become very faithful to God and religious.

1. If he was unfaithful before to his first wife, he did not have permission to remarry which makes you still unmarried spiritually. In that sense, you are free to walk. It was nothing more than a legal M. It wasn't a spiritual M. This is from any protestant bible.

2. If he wasn't unfaithful, again, he had no spiritual grounds for remarriage unless his first W was unfaithful and this only according to the protestant bible.

3. Now if you are catholic, unless he had the first M annuled, he was still technically spiritually married to his first W. Again, you are free to walk as it would never have been recognized by God as a valid spiritual M per the catholic bible.

I would be interested in knowing your take on this and if it helps you any. I know the emotional aspect still hurts very badly. But you can take the spiritual side as you are still free to M.

I'm sure I will get some interesting comments from others that read this. And there is nothing wrong with that. Its just my take on it and thats why I would be interested in your take on it and if it helps you figure out things for yourself any.

Either way, I know you are hurting and I know the betrayal you feel. Thats the hardest part of all is the betrayal. But depending on how you view Matthew 19:9, you may feel some what better about your future options as you begin to heal.

Kevin