Is the answer blowing in the wind?

[Trixi]

So, as I mentioned earlier, he had said he thought he wanted to proceed towards Divorce in our counseling session on Thursday.

Today he asked me (and my daughter) to go to Easter at his parents' house. WHA'????

I called him up and basically said "WTF are you thinking?" and he says "well, that we're family and Son is going to be over here and we should spend the holiday together." I said "Yeah. That's what a FAMILY does. But you don't want the family anymore. We don't get to spend holidays together anymore."
And he had the nerve to say "Oh! 14 years together and you just toss it all away like it means nothing to you!!"

O. M. G. Of course, I threw that back in his face and said he had some real kahunas to *dare* to say that to *me*. He then said that he *had* tried. blah blah blah. And that this is no walk in the park for him. This is really hard on him, too. He asked if I was always thinking about it and if I was "consumed" with our sitch and I said that I did think about it, but I'm not going to slit my wrists or anything. Then he says that he thinks a lot about it too. :eyeroll: I supppose I could be compassionate and "understand" that he is clearly very confused and that it must be difficult for him....but I don't feel like being compassionate right now.

Mostly I feel pissed right now. I am also royally pissed at his parents. And I told him so. I said that I feel like they should bow down at my feet and apologize. That I have been a fantastic mother to SS driving hours to the rehab place, that it was ME that had to encourage H to attend the family counseling, driving H around when he had the DUI issues and they (his parents) judge and disrespect me and I don't like it. H admitted that he "hasn't probably told them everything" that I have done to help him and SS. I told H I am not looking to cash in chips or get an award, but they clearly have the wrong impression about me. He agreed and said he would say something to them.

Of course there was lots of accusation tossing back and forth. (Who did what to who first). Initially he said that this situation is ALL about him and not about me. But then he started talking about how he was mad about this or that from the past. Near the end of the convo I said that I was very angry that me being sick is being held against me and he said "no, I understand you were sick." And I said "I would believe you, accept you keep talking about how you "checked out" when I was sick and so you've been "checked out" for so long now, you don't know how to do anything different. That seems just totally unfair to me. I couldn't physically do anything any different; you've been making choices."

H said he is "just asking me to give him time to be alone and really figure things out." And if it turns out he made a mistake he'll be back and hope I'm available.

Stepson was diagnosed with MS a couple days ago. I am going to go to Easter so that I can see SS.
If SS wasn't JUST diagnosed with MS, I probably would have skipped the whole Easter thing, but he really needs the support and is anxious to see my D.

My H is a total idiot. I know, in his mind, he isn't. He seems to think we live in a made for TV movie or something....