for a few weeks ive been having little thoughts about by contribution to this break up, i would argue with myself that it was nothing on my part i was blinded, for weeks ive only ever pointed my finger at my wife, sure i know it takes 2 to make a marriage and 1 to break it, trouble is there was only 1 trying to make it, and that was my wife, ive been so wrapped up in myself ive never noticed my wife slipping away, ive lay awake most nights thinking why this happened, i could see it but i would try to ignore it, then post on here trying to convince myself that it was her that left for no reason, i pushed her away, i finally addmitted to myself that i was the main contributor to this break up, how could i not see this, i will shed some light on it, i realised that i was doing things without noticing them, i was ignorant towards her, the looks i use to give her, hardly listened to her, made her feel uncomfortable around me, said some nasty stuff, took some of her self respect, etc etc i could go on, now with that said yes i was a loving and caring and thoughtful husband and i do love my wife more than anything in this world, so you might ask why have i only just come out with this, truth is guys i was in denial, i did not think it had anything to do with me, over a few weeks i was telling myself its not you, but it kept on coming back, the same scenarios over and over. and i would push them away and say NO. so i decided today to meet my wife and tell her i acknowledge my part in this, i told her how i made her feel and how she must of felt with this mental abuse, how i would come home from work sometimes and check if she had done the chores properly, moan about things that dont matter, the mood swings, i hardly ever acknowledged her when we was out in a group, list is endless...
she broke down and said she couldnt believe id seen it, it turned her upside down, she said all was true and it was why she left, she said she felt like a posession of mine like a tv or games console, just use it when it suits, she said ive been chipping away at her love for me and it finally broke, she had to leave. she was in turmoil, she went on to say i tried to tell you a thousand times. yes she did tell me. did i listen? no i didnt, beacuse i hardly listened to her, how sad is that, i feel like ive cheated her and my family and i dont think i could ever mend it. i will post some more tomorrow, need to sleep.
so sorry guys if ive wasted your time, and rob hope this dosent stop you posting to me? thank you so much
