Venetian plaster is a generic name for any number of imported (or domestic) Italian stuccos used for decoration of interiors or exteriors of buildings.
Its odd. W wanted to spend Saturday together with D and I. She wanted to spend some time Friday night with us as well.
It is a milestone that she has made the distinction between me and her issues. She has clearly come to the understanding that she has trust issues that do not relate to me, that preceeded our marriage and that what happened to us would have happened to anyone she would have married.
This is a 180 from ' You're the problem! '
So she spent the morning with us. Unfortunately she had a little nausea ( I think she is feeling anxious ) and did not enjoy herself as much as she could have.
I am wondering what my next move should be.
She is on her monthlong medical leave.
She has also talked about buying a house. She is tired of moving and renting. Her lifelong ambition is to be 'settled' in one house for the rest of her life.
My God, she is only 32. She would want to settle in one house for the rest of her years.......
I still think she is looking for peace in things, like having her own home that she will be in forever....then she will be at peace. I don't think so.....
As for me, the time together today was not that great. She did her own thing and did little to interact in any significant way.
She did allow me to hug her. When I did, she physically relaxed because she carries a lot of stress.
She did ask if I was still going to the church I have been going to since she left. That was odd. Don't know what that means, but it meant something.
Me 47, W 32,D 6, Met 11 yrs. ago, M 7 Bomb 4/08/08, Sep. 8/10/08, Div. 8/10/09
Hey native, Good to hear your W is taking some ownership for her actions & feelings. With buying a house, it doesn't seem like she is totally facing reality yet (since she can't afford her car).
Not much you can do really. Sometimes, there is no next step, as you wait to see how this step unfolds.
So what fun things have you been doing with your D?
Me39, XH45 Kids 3 dogs, 2 cats Divorced 6/4/09 Tricky thing is not how you live, but how you live with yourself. (POTC)
Well, we are going to Disney World this coming Saturday. Sure, we will have a lot of fun. My parents are going with us.
Otherwise, we worked/played in the yard last Sat. And Fri. I took her to work b/c she was acting sick the night before so I kept her out of school, but she turned out to be fine.
So we went to a farm supply place near the job I was doing and played with baby chicks they had for sale there. She did not want to leave.....
Weather is great, Spring is here and so far, my work is doing well, when it seems that everyone around me is struggling or worried about their jobs.
I know we don't have the same beliefs, but I have to be honest, when my wife left me with all the bills and the mortgage ( $1400 which she used to pay), I did not know how I would be able make it, so I prayed that God would provide me with the work I needed to take care of the bills and a little more. Normally I would not pray for such things, because I don't think a relationship with God is about money (and to be honest, I presumed myself self-suffecient) but I had no idea how I was going to survive financially based on the past few years.
So far, since August, I have had enough to pay my bills and a little more.
I am just grateful and plan to keep praying.
And too, somehow, all this seems to be part of a bigger plan.
For the first 8 mos., up until W had her breakthrough, I was angry. I felt betrayed, rejected, and in general treated unjustly after all I had done and been for her.
Then, as she started to have some mental/emotional breakthroughs, I began to see that truth was just beginning to enter her clouded thoughts. Regardless of the pain all of this has caused me, I am glad for her that she is beginning to get real with her issues. And truth and God are intertwined as far as I'm concerned. So, I see the illusions are being peeled away for her.
I hope for her healing. I may not be there for her when the full scope of truth finally dawns on her, but I wish her the best.
Last edited by native; 04/08/0901:11 AM.
Me 47, W 32,D 6, Met 11 yrs. ago, M 7 Bomb 4/08/08, Sep. 8/10/08, Div. 8/10/09
W is acting strange again. Had 'something else' to do besides going out to eat with D and I tonight as a kind of goodbye dinner. I figure she went on a date or over to one of her parasite friends homes ( all her friends are vampires....they are empty, needy people to whom my empty, needy wife plays Mother Theresa to.)
What a loser....
I still cannot reconcile how much faith I had in her to be a woman of integrity, and how far in reality she seems to be from that.
In retrospect, I think she has had one foot out of the door for about 4 years...
Me 47, W 32,D 6, Met 11 yrs. ago, M 7 Bomb 4/08/08, Sep. 8/10/08, Div. 8/10/09
Hey native, Sorry to hear your W is on the merry-go-round of emotions. It's quite oblivious she isn't happy with her current life either. My H picked not so good friends too. I knew straight away they were messed up. It took my H almost 2 years to figure this out. Some people just don't see that.
Try to be your W's friend & nothing more, if possible at this point. Again, you cannot fix or help her.
Hope Disneyland is fun!! Ken's going there too.
Me39, XH45 Kids 3 dogs, 2 cats Divorced 6/4/09 Tricky thing is not how you live, but how you live with yourself. (POTC)
