Like I said, in a case where it is really "just" time until the divorce occurs, but the spouses are not supporting each other (and I could even picture this in the same house, I think) I might think differently.
VH, just trying to make sure I understand you correctly here. Let's assume there clearly IS still financial, emotional and physical support going on here -- NOT two people's lives, separated; you are saying . . . what?
Puppy
In that case (which seems to be the case in the letter, and not so much the case in the intro), I think a spouse clearly can set boundaries. Of course, the problem is that there's no point in setting them unless one is willing to live with the consequences of them being broken. Maybe some consequences that could be tolerated and still make the point could be on the order of not paying for a cell phone, or something along that line. Then again, if the wandering spouse is clearly not ready to divorce, the promise to start things in that direction if the boundaries are crossed might cause them to think twice. But I wouldn't want to count on it!
