WAW1

[markhaving probs]

J,

With my wife still in such an angry state of mind I do know that anything I have tried or said so far has been met with complete resistance. She has not wavered or showed any signs of softening her mood in the slightest, her only concern at the moment is to get the divorce sorted out as quickly as possible. When I re-read my last post I don't think I would have done anything different as she wants the space and yet she initiated the phone call to me. She was probably chasing me to see if I had signed the papers, I do not for one second believe she was ringing out of concern for me, she just wants her own way as described by Puppy. The fact she put the phone down tells me she is angry and frustrated as I am not acting the way she expected me to, I reckon she thought I would be the angry and confused one so that she can attempt to justify her decision to end the marriage.

Yesterday (Good Friday) was my sons 7th birthday. I went over for lunch to where my wife is house-sitting, though as a gesture I bought a lovely plant for my wife as a thank you for cooking us all lunch and as an Easter gift. I thought long and hard over this as I know from reading the do's and don'ts of DB'ing that you should not buy gifts as it could be construed as persuing. This gesture is a 180 for me as I am acknowledging the fact my wife is cooking lunch and is seen as a thank you, which, before the bomb I would have accepted the lunch without any gesture coming from me. I geed myself up to be as upbeat as possible as my parents-in-law were also there for the day, I had dresswd up and I also bought some wine. I greeted everyone, my parent-in-law and my children showing warmth, my wife barely uttered a word. She did not really take any notice or say much about the plant which did not surprise me, but I wanted to show my appreciation and also to show her parents I can be grown up and show I can be resposible and caring. The lunch went quite well though I was positioned at the tablw where my wife did not have to engage in eye contact with me, and in fact she never did during the whole meal. We finished eating at approximately 6.00 pm and I helped clear the table and offered to help which was not really appreciated. My wife said to me while I was drying up some dishes "you should not have bought me that plant". I responded by saying it was a thank you and a gift for Easter and I then left it at that and walked away.

I was due to meet some friends for dinner who are moving to San Diego so this would be the last time I would see them. The time for dinner was set for 7.30pm, as it was only just after 6.00pm my wife said "what are going to do know for the next hour"? this was a clear message that she did not want me there any more, I answered her by saying I will play with the children for a while. Inside I was fuming, when it got to about 6.45pm I said something I should not have said "OK Suzie, I know when I am not wanted, so I am going" (a backslide I think). I said this in front of my parents-in-law who said nothing. I said goodbye to the children and kissed my in-laws who were still happy to kiss me, so clearly they did not think I was being nasty or spiteful. My wife followed me to the door and said she was going to stay at her parents on Saturday. This would be the last night I would be at my home because I am moving out for awhile so I will be alone on my last night before I start moving my things out.

Please could someone read this and try and give me some clarity on the situation. Many thanks.